Beside it was a cheap lighter that hadonly just appeared.My hand shook as I reached out for it.As I made contact with a cigarette the light dimmed further, turninggolden brown and my finger nails shimmered into a vibrant red colour.The fingers themselves slimmed, my hand losing all the tan andcoarseness of age. I was wearing a short sleeved blouse and my exposedforearm became slimmer too. I started to pull the cigarette out of thepack.Then I stopped.The light in the little room grew marginally. The changes to my armslowed down and then stopped.Was this what I wanted? Was it what I really wanted?If I became Jenna Jones again then I would forget myself. I'd becomeher body and soul - a trampy little teenage slag with no prospects andno responsibility. I'd never be able to become Mary Beljer againbecause this time there would be no Susan to call me back. I would losemyself completely.But that meant I would forget my pain too and I so wanted that. Iwanted to let go of that pain forever. ”“We would just have to work out what to put in the B side,” I said. “Maybe we can discuss that at our band meeting this arvo.”Back with Lisa and Fiona, I told them what had happened at that meeting, and how Llew Edwards, the Expo chairman, didn’t like my remarks about ‘Invasion Day’. They wanted to know what we were going to do about it, and when I said ‘nothing’, they were pleased. Since it was now getting close to lunch, we decided to return to the German pavilion and have more beer, sausages and listen to the oompah band some more. Since it was a Monday, Expo wasn’t as crowded as it had been on the weekend, and we had no trouble finding a place to sit to eat and drink. Once again, a rather buxom fraulein served us beer, and we each got a service of brats, potatoes and onions to eat, along with some crusty dark bread. The food was just as tasty as it was the first time we ate there, and the music just as entertaining. We spent an hour there, listening to the music, enjoying our.
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