“I don’t normally go that crazy.”“It’s okay,” I said. “I was glad I was able to be here for you. I kind of got the impression that you were going a little harder because I was leaving.”She nodded. “I’m gonna miss you,” she admitted and took a piece of toast from the tray, nibbling on it. “Luis and I never had kids, but if we had, I’d like to hope they’d have turned out like you.” She smiled at me and I smiled back, touched.I’d shed a lot of tears, but when my eyes misted over, it wasn’t out of pain or sorrow or loss. I was deeply affected by what she’d said to me. I carefully put the tray aside and then wrapped her up in a hug. “When everything happened with my brother, I sort of lost my mother. My father was never any great prize, but I’ve missed having someone like that in my life.”She hugged me back just as tight. I remember that the last time I hugged my mother, I’d felt nothing. There was none of the love that a hug from a mother should be filled with. I found that feeling. "Stay there, I'll be back." I left to get some breakfast and time to think.What to do.I made myself some tea and thought. I let Armand knowwe would be leaving late, there was something I needed to take care of first. Megan asked what the delay was and I put her off. I didn't want to deal with her this morning.Once I had my tea, I knelt and tried to center myself. It eluded me but I managed to figure out what I was going to do about Chandra's betrayal.She was still where I left her and she was alone, the others gave us space to deal with whatever was bothering us."Rise, Postulant," I commanded and she did. I could see her steel herself for the fallout of her actions.I cupped her chin with my hand and she flinched slightly. "I understand what you did and why you did it. I forgive you for that." BUT, if you are to stay with me you are to swear that you will never divulge anything about me or what I do, without my permission, to anyone. This includes your father, your friends and even.
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