We looked out for one another, studied together, watched movies, had dinner and went drinking together. We had sex, hot torrid sex. The kind of sex that... No, that's not true at all. We never had sex. We never even kissed, unless you consider a kiss on the cheek kissing. Of course I had often thought about sex with her. Too frequently in fact.I had sat by and watched while Monica dated but never had the nerve to step up myself and approach her in that way. I dated too, but never had a lasting relationship. That's probably because my mind was elsewhere. Elsewhere just happened to be Monica. The college years went by and we kept up our routine, study partners and best of friends through the remainder of the fours years of school. We hurtled toward graduation focused and intent on reaching our goal, emerging on the other side to find ourselves embarking on our careers. Jobs that thrust us into unfamiliar territory amidst unfamiliar faces and environs. Those same jobs would soon. Joe came by long enough to check on me, then left me to go our afternoon classes. I saw Mark a couple of times, but he just avoided my eyes.When I got back home I was exhausted. I skipped dinner to go to sleep instead. That was the first night I didn’t dream I was in the plane with Sam while it fell forever and never hit the ground. When I woke early, my back hurt from sleeping in the same position all night. I stared at the ceiling until my alarm went off, thinking of nothing and everything.As the week progressed, I began to come out of the worst of it. I started to participate in class again. My appetite returned a little. The Sam-shaped hole inside was still there, but maybe it wasn’t bleeding as much.One thing that struck me was that Joe hadn’t picked up a new what’s-her-name since being grounded. He seemed content to hang out with Bethany and me. Sometimes Mark would come over, but mostly it was the three of us hanging out, doing homework, or watching TV until Mom and Dad came.
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