I thought maybe this would be a kind of dancing my fatherwould let me do. Football dancing....But when I started jumping in my seat and waving my arms around inimitation of the pretty ladies he gave me a bug-eyed look of puredisbelief then heaved that disgusted sigh of his---which I'd beenhearing a lot lately---that announced that everything about me that wasME was an embarrassment to him....I found myself totally at odds with the body that fate had stuck mewith, and all the expectations regarding my behavior as a male, which Ifound so baffling. And what made my situation such a double whammy washow I was unable to mention these issues that were tearing me up toanyone; since this "thing" that I was was too weird and awful to eventalk about!...I was pretty sure that Mom knew, but her love and approval of thegirl inside me had to be carefully coded, and mostly reserved for thosetimes when HE wasn't around. It wasn't the happiest of childhoods....But things can change. Less than a. I knew for better or worse Swamp Thing had what was left of my soul, and the money wasn't bad. Laundering money was how most people Got caught. It was always follow the money. I could live my simple life on the pension I received from the state.I used the liquor money to buy more liquor and other supplies. I also had a plastic shoe box full of cash. I kept it in a the bottom of a plastic tool box. It wasn't much of a place to hide it, but it had to do for a short term hiding place. I still had ten thousand in bug out money hidden in the car. My problem was the same as every other person selling an illegal product. I had way too much cash for the lifestyle I could afford on paper. Fortunately, I did it for the thrills not the cash. I still lived the same as I always had. Even so it still accumulated.I put a wad of cash in the sink and covered it with Dawn dish washing soap and half a cup of bleach. Then when it dried, I put it in a new envelops that was never handled by me without.
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