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I sat down at the bar and I asked the bartender, ‘What’s the w ifi password?’Bartender: ‘You need to buy a drink first.’Me: ‘Okay, I’ll have a beer.’Bartender: ‘We have Molson’s Canadian on tap.’Me: ‘Sure. How much is that?’Bartender: ‘$8.00.’Me: ‘Here you are. OK now, what’s the wifi password?’Bartender: ‘ “youneedtobuyadrinkfirst”; No spaces and all lowercase.’----Prince Harry’s Bachelor Party - Quote of the DayIt’s really weird stuffing money into a stripper’s G string when every bill has a photo of your grandmother printed on it.”Compliments of technomage‎Unitarian Universalist jokesQ: What do you get when you cross a UU with a Jehovah’s Witness?A: Someone who knocks on your door for no apparent reason.You May Be A Unitarian Universalist If... you think socks are too formal for a Summer serviceyou think the Holy Trinity is “reduce, reuse and recycle”when you watch Jaws you root for the shark (“Hey, sharks have to eat too!”)you think “Whatever” is a valid theological pointyou. “I’m not cold,” Linda said, sounding surprised.“The air’s still warm, out of that wind,” Brad told her, and then squeezing her shoulder, added lightly, “And given the fun you’ve just had. Now tell me.”Her head was against his bare chest, “I’ll sound so dumb.” Linda began reluctantly. “Mike, from that first date, when I discovered I was highly sexed, but I gave him all the credit. He had my virgin mind believing he was the ultimate. Those first months he took me in every orifice. Hurt me often. But what did I know?”Brad’s anger rose as she told of him fingering her to orgasm in cinemas, taking her against a wall in back lanes while people passed on the main street, telling her that this was a sure way of retaining his “love”.“That’s what he called it,” Linda was almost sobbing now. “Then he asked me, told me, how much he’d enjoy watching his best friend take me.”Brad found himself hardly daring to breathe, to suppress his anger, as she told him of the depravities inflicted on her.“I.
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