Then occasionally we started smiling at each other.One day when I came to the house in the afternoon I smiled at her and then got in to the house and shut door. After a while there was a knock on the door and I saw Manjula standing on the door. She had worn a saree with her pallu over her shoulders. I could see her blouse with those huge globes below but she tried to adjust herself and asked if she could come in. Sideways I could see her huge belly and the umbilical hole. As we sat talking she asked about my family and work and stuff. Slowly I felt she was a bored woman who was married off to a wealthy businessman who after a kid had lost all interests in her. Off late even she wasn’t interested as he had this bad habit of eating beetle leaves and nuts which she couldn’t stand. Slowly we became friendly every afternoon she used to come home and as we were on the topmost floor no one would know if who was where. The one day she said that she was feeling naughty. I was shocked to. Dying on demand - at any random time and place - didn't seem like an easy task but at least it had some possibilities, whereas trying to create déjà vu on demand did not.Even if we could do it, did we want to hurt our family? To make this work, one body was going to have to die. That family would be hurt. There was no easy answer to that.We had plenty of time to think about these issues as judging by our experiences so far in our two lives, déjà vu's never happened in rapid succession. They were highly erratic, and could arrive within a few months of the previous one - as had just happened - but in all likelihood the next one wouldn't be for at least eighteen months, and probably longer.All things considered - both the good and the bad - I was enjoying my life now and didn't want to mess it up or lose it. I resumed my already abnormal 'normal' life.As it turned out, I arrived at my most important answer in just a few weeks. I couldn't stop thinking about it. My minds would frequently.
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