He said, “Are you ready?” and handed me a hotel robe. He pointed to the bathroom and said I could undress in there. I followed his suggestion like an automaton. I went into the bath and quietly slipped out of my dress, bra and panties. I watched myself in the mirror as I undressed. I hoped Bill would like what he saw. He had me lay face down on the bed. I undid the robe but kept it covering my back and hips. He brushed back my hair and carefully slid the robe down to just over the crack of my ass. I was practically totally exposed to a man I had just met a couple of hours ago. My head was swimming with mixed messages. Good girls don’t do this. But I am old enough to experiment. And this is a onetime thing, etc., etc. I was justifying my actions because I was captivated by this visitor.When Bill pulled back the robe, he said “you are very beautiful. Thank you for trusting me. Now just relax and enjoy”.He started at my neck. He used both hands and worked the muscles on. I must admit that I was no saint in my teens, and had a couple of brief affairs, and got into a few scrapes whilst away at University. Although I gave my body willingly in these little affairs, my heart was always at home with Nettie. Then suddenly she stopped writing and telephoning, I did not hear from her for a month, and when I did telephone, her father told me that Nettie did not want to speak to me. I could not imagine what I had done wrong, but my mother told me on the telephone later that she had become engaged to the new young Methodist Minister.At the time it seemed to me that my whole world had fallen apart. The thought of Nettie in the arms of another man drove me crazy, and for a time I lost all faith in women. Over the next six months I deliberately embarked on a number of sordid affairs with fellow female students and one or two married women. I did not really care whether I was a marriage buster, or whether I was making them pregnant, or what happened to them.
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