Is that clear enough?”I knew I sounded exasperated, but I couldn’t help it.“It is,” she replied quietly. “Thank you. Now you’re treating me like a normal girl. You got frustrated. You didn’t hold back.”“I’m sorry.”“No!” Bethany exclaimed. “Don’t apologize! You finally see me as someone you are comfortable with. NOW, we can have sex. You can ‘screw me silly’. I didn’t have a timeframe except for you to quit treating me like some little china doll. Even when we were making out, I could tell you were afraid. Well, stop being afraid!”This was a Bethany I hadn’t seen. This was an aggressive, self-confident Bethany! In other words, just like my other girls.“Wow! I don’t know what to say?”“Don’t say anything,” she said. “Take me to the apartment, get me naked, have sex with me. Today! Now!”I didn’t have a choice. I never did.I took her hand and started walking towards the apartment. I had misgivings, but I didn’t feel the same fear I did before. I was sure this wasn’t going to be a repeat. And what if the doctorconfirmed I was turning into an Asian girl? My mind conjured up imagesof myself imprisoned behind Plexiglas, costumed as Patient Zero in awhite dressing gown, the body-changing process continuing but with awhole new layer of torture on top of that. Wires up my asshole, littledoors cut in my skull and all kinds of metal probes and monitors shovedinto my brain, EKGs, body scans, blood tests, interviews, therapies,experimentation.And after that phantasmagorical stint as Alice at the mad surgery partyin Medical Wonderland, maybe some kind of "Oprah Winfrey Show" infamy,with doctors getting rich off books all about the dumb guy who changedrace and sex like some kind of human chameleon. I'd become less than aperson. I'd become some kind of cultural metaphor."No," I said, making my choice. "I do not want to go to a doctor overthis. What if it's like testicular cancer? I'm so different now it'dprobably be in the terminal stage-" And you'll die if you don't see.
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