Meri to koyi sali hi nahin thi. Ab jab mujhe ek sali mil gayi hai to uski sewa to karunga hi. Lekin meri sali mera jyada khayal hi nahin rakhti. Lali boli, jiju, meri koyi bahan nahin hai isliye mera koyi jiju to aane wala nahin hai. Aap hi mere jiju ho, aap hukum to karo. Maine kaha, kya tum mera kahna manogi. Wo boli, kyon nahin manungi. Maine kaha, theek hai, jab mujhe jaroorat hogi to tumhein bata dunga.Aale 2 dino mein maine Lali se mazak karna shuru kar diya. Dheere dheere wo bhi mujhse mazak karne lagi. Ab wo mujhse sharmati nahin thi. Ab Lali khd hi towel le aati thi. Us din bhi jab main naha raha tha to wo towel le kar aayi aur khadi ho gayi aur mere lund ko dekhne lagi. Maine kaha, sali ji, aaj tum hi mere lund par sabun laga do. Wo boli, kya jiju, mujhse apne lund par sabun lagwaoge. Maine kaha, to kya hua. Wo boli, didi kya kahengi. Maine Ritu ko pukara to wo aa gayi aur boli, kya hai. Maine kaha, main Lali se apne lund par sabun lagane ko kaha to ye kah rahi hai ki didi. Try as Imight to engage in this metacognitive interrogation of my pretransitionself, the only conclusion I can come to is that I did not genuinely seemyself as female, at the time.That, in and of itself, may not be cause for suspicion. There are myriadways to be transgender, and such awareness may develop later in someindividuals than in others. However, as I investigated my feelings andmemories further, I became confident that I did not experience genderdysphoria prior to becoming a subject for this experiment. This led me toquestion the nature of the experiment, and the Juno Institute as anentity, questions I would have been wise to consider before entering intomy patient contract. There is precious little information about theInstitute on the Internet, so I will have to use alternative methods.DAY 76I have been foolish, and I curse myself for my naivet?. Dr. [NameRedacted] had assured me that this electronic log is confidential, andwhile I have no direct evidence to the contrary,.
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