. and Ned's thoughts rambled on, turning largely on Wendy Simpson. And if on Wendy Simpson, then largely on that young lady's chest. Fulsome, well developed, and well worth comtemplating.Two hours later, as he trudged down the path to the back door of his home, Ned realised that this just wasn't his lucky day. Of course Sid had been early, and of course this just had to be the evening his mother went to the Women's Institution. Institute, he corrected himself.Mrs Kelly was at the back door when Ned got there, clearly not happy, and, as usual when he was in her bad books she used his full name."Gerald Michael Kelly," she said in a loud voice, "just where the hell have you been? I've been worried sick this last hour wondering what had happened to you..." and she continued in this vein for some minutes whilst Ned wondered about her use of the word hell. Suddenly everyone was talking about hell, or mentioning it anyway, or perhaps taking its name in vain. Was this, he wondered, a sort of. Ulrich arrived a little early on the day he was to help me pack some of my pictures for postage. He held up what looked like a burnt DVD in a generic looking case, "Have you got one of these," he said simply."What is it?"Instead of answering he smiled and handed me the disc. On it, in blue marker, was written: "For Ulrich, Love Loretta." It arrived this morning. Have you looked in your letterbox?" No, not today."Ulrich continued to smile at me enigmatically; he was giving nothing away. I got my keys, strode outside and opened the letterbox. Sure enough, there was a brown bubble pack envelope addressed to me and sent from Prague by Loretta. I tore it open and was soon holding a DVD identical to Ulrich's."Oh, I see she has also given you four kisses. I only got the DVD." I almost blushed at this; one of Ulrich's rare attempts at humour.Without a second's hesitation I slipped it into the DVD player and we both sat on the couch. The DVD contained a porn movie called, "Alpine Butt Sluts.
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