Debbie sat me down at the vanity. “Put some lipstick on,” she ordered as she started rummaging through the clothes on the rack.“Debbie ... P ... Please ... I’m ... I can’t be a stripper! I’m only fifteen!” I begged.She ignored me and kept looking through the clothes.I started looking around at what was on the vanity and in the drawer. All the lipsticks were bright red and obviously used. I knew it was pointless to argue. I picked out the least gross looking lipstick I could find and put it on my lips. My hand was shaking. I didn’t have a lot of experience with makeup, since Mom wouldn’t allow me to wear it. I got it on, but it was messy. I looked silly between the sloppy lipstick and pig tails Ms. Jansen gave me.“You can keep that skirt on,” Debbie said, “But you’ll need some panties to start with. We don’t want to reveal that fat pussy right away.”My heart sank. I was going to be made to strip. All I could think about was a bunch of greasy men ogling my embarrassing body and touching. The way your hips have been left with pale red imprints from my hands, or how your back will show the jagged lines my nails made when marking you. The curls of your auburn locks fall just shy of your shoulders. The crystalline, dusky color of your eyes, fixated on me now as you slide the shower's glass door shut. Random frames from last night play through my head, flashes that lead up to this surreal moment. Telling my friend I'd drop by, but only for a few light drinks because I had to work the next day. You showing up with some new guy, some arrogant prick I immediately felt like punching in the face. Both of us avoiding one another save for random eye contact throughout the night and I would always wonder what you were thinking when your gaze would linger for more than a few seconds. Then I'd fix a new drink, stronger than the previous one, to dull that thought process. In the last few months, I've spent more than enough time trying to figure you out, to forget you, and to no.
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