She looked inside the houses around the square. They looked so warm and pleasant. Not freezing like the cold ground she was sitting on. All she wanted was a little warmth. She looked at the matches. She could light one, if only for a little warmth. The lady wouldn't miss one. She held the matchstick in her hand and scraped it for a flame to ignite. She held her other hand around it and saw in the smoke a beautifull fireplace. Oh how she wished she could be there, anywhere but here. The flame ended quickly and she was met with nothing but darkness and cold. Unable to handle this she quickly lit another one. This time she saw a turkey it looked delicious and she could hear her tummy rumbling through the shivering.It was at that time that a carriage came to a stop in front of her. Someone must have seen the light from the matches. The door opened and a lady walked through it."hello girl. What are you doing here on your own? In this cold." do you want to buy some matches m'lady. They are. “That’s not pleasing to God and could land you in hell.”The friend just looks at the priest. A few minutes later, another duck flies by, the friend shoots and misses. “God Dammit, I missed again!”“My son,” says the priest. “Heed my words, that displeases God, and you will suffer the consequences.”A minute or two later a black cloud passes over. A lightning bolt streaks out of the sky, hits the priest, and kills him dead. The friend looks up to the heavens as a loud voice comes roaring down from above, “God dammit, I missed again.”Then there’s the woman who goes to the dentist. As he leans over to begin working on her, she grabs his crotch.The dentist says, “Madam, I believe you’ve got a hold of my privates.”The woman replies, “Yes. Now, we’re going to be careful not to hurt each other, aren’t we.”Murphy is a trainee nurse in his local GPs surgery. Last week the doctor said, “Murphy I’m going for a round of golf so I’m leaving you in charge, it’s always quiet on Wednesdays.”On his.
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