All I can say in my defence is that the offence committed was involuntary and was largely caused by the empress’s own acts. That it was her own fault would of course only inflame her rancour toward me. The incident of the conflagration reminded her, and in her eyes much the worse offence, the general populace, about the events of Ladies’ Day. Jonathan Swift Chapter One and Only — The custom of Ladies’ Day in Lilliput. The empress pays a midnight visit. The toast to the empress. The result of the toast. The preparations for the whores. The actions of the naked women. The displacement of the staging. My sperm try to fulfil their function. The empress is not amused. — Ladies’ Day in Lilliput seems to me to have similarities to the ancient Romans’ celebration of Saturnalia. The Romans let servants rule their masters and indulge in unrestrained horseplay. The Lilliputians let women rule their men on Ladies’ Day. Common to both festivals was the understanding that any act committed by the. ”“Don't we have a say?” asked Tom.“No,” Mel replied simply. “What, you're going to object?”“Well, no, it just doesn't seem very democratic.”“Oh, I see, you're labouring under the delusion that this is a democracy,” Melanie practically cooed, a sure warning sign if you knew my wife; she is not a cooing person. “It's not; it's a female autocracy. We might be equal partners everywhere else, but if you want to get laid here, you do what the ladies say. Are you okay with that, Tom?” The last in honeyed tones that would have had me bolting for the exit!Tom gulped conspicuously; he had obviously received the message. “Er, sure, whatever you say.”“Thank you, dear,” my wife replied sweetly and I almost choked trying so hard not to bust out laughing at that one. If my wife calls you “Dear” start backing away. Any other endearment is genuine; she says “Dear”, you start counting the kitchen knives!Tom was obviously smarter than I had been giving him credit for because he was trying very hard to.
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