While raised in a Reform Jewish family, in college she had been drawn to studying the Kabbalah, especially Practical Kabbalah, the white magic aspect, and had recently started more formal studies.Oddly, the class was held in the study of the local Unitarian Universalist Church. rather than a Jewish Temple. Apparently, the group leader had run afoul of the local Rabbis, and found a welcoming space at the church; in fact, several of the students were members of the church.Judith found a comfortable chair, set her bookbag down and pulled out the text that they were going to be studying that evening.Suddenly, the door opened and a young man entered. He appeared to be around her age, and was quite good-looking, but with a great sadness in his eyes.He shook hands with the leader, and found himself a seat.“Class,” the leader said, “This is Jakob Wise. He is relatively new to the study of the Kabbalah and will be joining us. Please make him feel welcome.”There were the usual murmurs of. . nothing is okay.”He turned me by my shoulder and without a word pulled me against him. Like a lil kid, I buried my face in his neck and sobbed and sobbed and sobbed some more. My whole body was shaking.One of his hands cupped the back of my head and he whispered in my ear. “It is going to be okay, Nate. Just talk to me.” He hugged me tighter. “You can talk to me.”My arms had been stiff by my sides but now rose to wrap around him. I’m not sure how long we stood like this, naked, hugging. Finally, it seemed I had gotten it all out of my system and I pulled away from him. His kind eyes met mine.“You won’t understand,” I said, shaking my head.“Are you gay?”Fuck! I didn't usually cuss, but my head was filled with nothing but cuss words at this moment. I kept my head down and couldn’t answer.“Nate, look at me.” After I forced my eyes back up he continued. “Are you gay?”“Someone might come in.” I was suddenly very afraid of one of the guys catching me like this with Michael.“I didn’t know.
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