Part of the problem was that Rolly didn't feel it was his place to bring up discussion of a relationship because he did love Susan, even if it was just as a special friend with benefits, and he was not going to give up going on missions. He knew opening that discussion with Rachel would be like setting foot in a mine field. So he took the coward's way out and decided to go on a mission when she was out of town. He did tell her that he was thinking about it before she left to work the rodeo circuit.Rachel loved Rolly, loved the idea of him being badass on another planet, and really loved having sex with him, but she was so busy with her new job that she was living in the moment. If she had walked in on Rolly having sex with someone else it would have broken her heart, but the thought of him having sex with women on another planet, or possibly dying, didn't quite register. She wanted him to go on a mission so that his beard and long hair would come off.Stephanie was home for the summer,. "I can't read her mind any more than you can, Honey, but I think so. She was in there by herself a long time, and she had tears in her eyes when I found her." I don't know what to think, Mark," she told him. "You had it right before. I don't want to stop being angry at her. I can never forget all the bad stuff." She saw Mark about to speak and cut him off. "Yeah, I know. Even if I can't forget, I should forgive. Do you have any idea how hard that is?" No, I don't know personally," he answered, "but I can see how hard it is for you." With that, he pulled her into a hug and they just cuddled for a while."You know," she said after a bit, "that really is a beautiful poem: sad, but beautiful. That last part, where she is asking for forgiveness - that just tears me up inside. I never knew she could write like that."Mark told Lindsey about the long talk in the hot tub. "She said she started when she got bored in classes in junior high. She even admitted that she would do it in church." That.
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