She pauses beside me and squeezes my bicep, so close her boobis almost poking me in the eye. With one finger I could pull thatblouse and the lace bra underneath a scant inch and a fat nipple wouldsurely pop out. What must that feel like, to be so enticing and sovulnerable at the same time? Her breathing is rapid, a sure sign ofnervousness, which causes them to ebb and flow in the dressseductively."What if I don't mind paying the price?" she asks. It's supposed tosound flirty but she's really nervous and it comes out with a sort ofsqueak at the end. She doesn't wait for a replyWhen she stops at the table with the three guys my heart sinks. Sure, Iknew it was coming but her recklessness catches me off guard. An hourago she was afraid to walk into the place alone. Sometimes she can betoo confident in my abilities.I can't hear what is said but one kid whoops loudly and the big guycaptures Rita's wrist in one paw and pulls her closer. She neverflinches but shuffles nearer on those heels. B. around her for security and companionship.But, I suppose losing her husband made her lose some inner will, and she passed away within the next year.I was there when she died, J.B. crying in my arms, wondering why life sucked so much, right then.I never realized how fast time flew by because here with me was no baby, but a big strapping six foot tall sixteen year old, needing only a few more high school credits to make graduation.As if I needed any more angst of my own, the TV series was cancelled.I had enough money to retire, but not in the kind of luxury or glamor that my public was used to associating with me.When J.B. moved in, he wanted to know why, if I had all this room, that my parents and him couldn't have moved in WITH me. When I told him that my parents wanted nothing to do with living in Hollywood, he made the connection that Hollywood was evil. Who could argue with that?The following year, while J.B. was now a seventeen year old senior, a part came along that I just.
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