I rolled over and saw a picture of James. Suddenly the memory seeped through me and all the pain from that day came flooding through. Why? Why him? Why me?! I used to think he was the perfect roommate, everybody said I didn’t have anything to worry about. I liked him so much, he was such a cool guy. Always willing to spring for pizza or a flick. After spending all days and nights with him I even felt myself in love. How could I ever imagine I’d hated him like I did now? And how could a small part of me still feel love for him? As I lay there in the dark, I could not stop the tears from falling, The pain I endured that night hit me so hard that this was the first time since it had happened that I had the opportunity to feel real emotion. I willed the tears to stop but they wouldn’t subside. I curled up as small as I could, drawing the covers over my head. I just wish I could disappear or that this chest pounding pain was just a nightmare. I wanted to wake up tomorrow with all of it. “Probably just the wine that’s getting to her a little”
We serve everyone, get back to the table but when she sits down, Christine actually lifts her skirt and displays that little bit of thigh at the top of her nylons. No-one can see, there’s just the two of us at the very end of the table so I’m fantasizing that this must be for me. Again, she’s acting like there’s nothing going on, talking away, serving wine to all, including me, giving me this great smile and looking into my eyes when she does so. If I was in a bar, I would say that this woman is coming on to me.
I finish my meal but being the polite boy that I am, (well not at a “boy”, I’m in my twenties by then), I wait for them to finish. But I have a plan. Since I have nothing to do with my hands, I simply rest them on my lap but my fingers are to the side, almost touching Christine’s legs. Since we’re so close, she moves around and her legs touches mine but she can feel that my hand is there. She looks down, smiles at me,.
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